This Is Called Moving On

I've been quiet lately. I know it. You've probably noticed it too.

For a long time, posting was the job. The video was the product. If I didn't show up online, I didn't eat. That was the deal for years, and I don't regret a minute of it. It kept the lights on when nothing else would.

Something changed.

I got a job. I'm not going to tell you where, and I'm not going to explain it. That's mine to keep for now. What I will tell you is that I get up, I go, I work, and I come home tired in a way that has nothing to do with a camera.

I've also got a baby on the way.

Bills came due for the first time in a way they hadn't in a while. Real bills, on a real schedule, with a real due date. And I paid them. All of them. July's rent was sitting paid before June even ended. I did that working a job nobody knows about, without posting a single video to make it happen.

I am flat broke after those bills clear. Every month. And I am proud of that. Read that again. Broke and proud, because broke-and-paid beats behind-and-owing every single time I've lived it.

For years, making content was who I was. It wasn't just what I did, it was my identity. Take the camera away and I didn't know who was left standing. I don't say that to complain about it. It built this platform. It built the record. It fed my kids. But I am thankful, genuinely thankful, that it is not the only thing holding me up anymore.

I miss it some days. I miss the posts, the back-and-forth, being loud about what matters. That part of me isn't dead. It's just not required right now, and there is a peace in that I did not expect.

This is moving on. Not moving away from the fight, not moving away from the truth, not moving away from you. Moving on from needing the noise to survive. I can pay my bills in silence now. I can provide without performing. That is new for me, and I am still getting used to how good it feels.

I already told you what they meant for evil. This is some of what God is turning it into: a job, a baby coming, bills paid on time, and a man who doesn't need the applause to make it through the month.

I'll get back to posting more when life allows it. Maybe soon, maybe not. Either way, I wanted you to hear this from me instead of wondering where I went. I didn't disappear. I went to work.

If you want to keep hearing from me when I do show up, whether that's once a week or once a month, drop your email below. No spam, no algorithm deciding if you see it. Just the next one, straight to you, whenever it comes.