Turning the Other Cheek Is Not Weakness. It Is Discipline.

I am a Marine.

The Marine Corps taught me to move toward the fight.

Jesus is teaching me something harder. When not to.

I have been loud

Some of you have watched me at my loudest. Online, mostly. Late at night, mostly.

I have answered every comment. I have been sharp when I should have been still.

I am not writing this to relive any of that. I am writing it because I made a decision, and I want to say it out loud where you can hold me to it.

What I want, plainly

I want to be kind.

I want to be respectful, including to people who do not like me.

Not everyone is going to like me. That is fine. I do not need everyone to.

But I do not want anyone to be afraid of me. Not a neighbor. Not a stranger at the gas station. Not somebody who disagrees with me. I am better than that, and God expects better than that from me.

What Jesus actually said

"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:39

People hear that and think it means be a doormat.

It does not.

Turning the other cheek does not mean you stop telling the truth. It does not mean you pretend wrong is right.

It means you do not pay evil back with evil. You take the hit to your pride, and you do not swing back.

"Recompense to no man evil for evil." Romans 12:17

"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21

That is not weakness. Weakness is letting every insult decide what you do next.

A Marine word for it

Marines learn a list of leadership traits. One of them is bearing.

Bearing is how you carry yourself when you are tired, angry or provoked. It is staying under control when everything in you wants to come unglued.

I learned bearing in uniform. I am learning it again now, in a different way, on my knees.

People know who I am. They know there are days I want to explode. I can't, and I won't. Restraint is the discipline now, for the good of my family and the people I want to serve.

I let God fight my battles

"The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace." Exodus 14:14

That verse is not passive. Israel still had to walk through the sea. But the fighting belonged to God.

So I am handing the fights back to Him. I will say what is true, say it once, say it kindly, and then I am going to set the phone down.

Five habits for keeping your peace

These are the ones I am practicing. Take them.

1. Wait before you answer. If it made you angry, sleep on it. It will still be there in the morning, and so will you.
2. Say it once. Plainly. Then walk away. You do not have to win the thread.
3. Pray for the person first. "Pray for them which despitefully use you." Matthew 5:44. It is hard to stay hot at somebody you just prayed for.
4. Ask one question before you hit send. Would this make anybody afraid? If the answer is yes, do not send it.
5. Keep one friend who will tell you the truth. Call them before you post, not after.

We are neighbors

Here in East Texas we see each other at the feed store, the ballfield and the gas pump. We can disagree hard about plenty and still help each other pull a truck out of a ditch.

That is the kind of man I want to be around here. Strong enough to stand up. Disciplined enough not to swing back.

Who do you need to stop swinging at this week? Pray for them by name tonight.