That Version of Ryan Had to Die
Ryan Nichols on leaving the old Ryan behind, veterans and trauma, coming home from prison, and why a support system decides who makes it.
By Ryan Nichols
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"That version of Ryan had to die."
I said that in my truck on Monday, November 9, 2026. I meant it.
The old Ryan
"I'm not gonna yell at you. That's the old Ryan."
"In order for me to do the things that I want to do, I had to move on from being that person."
Is it still in there? "Yeah, sometimes."
Do I have the urge to just let it out? "Yeah. I do. But I don't."
Would it make me feel better to yell? "Yeah, but I realized, like I said the other day, I'm not getting heard by people."
Who this is for
"This is really for anybody. Veterans that have had issues with communicating or people with trauma and PTSD. If you are somebody that's transitioning out of a prison."
If you came home and you could not find the words, I know that place.
What got me through
"I had to calm down, but it's almost taken two years with a halfway, like a decent support system."
"Not everybody was decent, but I had great parents and great friends that wanted to see me do well."
"If you don't have a good support system and you integrate out of a place like that, you're not gonna make it."
"You're not gonna make it."
"We have to do better."
What I said (RYAN STATEMENT)
- "That version of Ryan had to die."
- "I'm not gonna yell at you. That's the old Ryan."
- "I had great parents and great friends that wanted to see me do well."
- "If you don't have a good support system and you integrate out of a place like that, you're not gonna make it."
- "We have to do better."
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